Disappointment, anxiety, nerves, and anger… The results of Athletics in 2015

Those are the feelings I get after competitions this year:

Disappointment – I have trained better than ever this year, enjoying it and running good times comfortably. Yet when it comes to racing it just doesn’t come together.

Anxiety and nerves – Before races I’ve started to become nervous, and have even been a little sick before a race. I don’t know if this is just something that has just developed or goes in hand with my poor race form.

Anger – I’m just angry with how this season has gone. With such good training form, why can’t I replicate this in racing. I know conditions this year for racing haven’t been great, but still I am better than I have been.


Last week I had one of the best training week’s I have had in some time, just what I needed before the British Milers Club event in Exeter last night. Yet when it came to the race it fell apart. I will admit the race time, pace and whole event was not for me.

  • Race scheduled to start at 20.56 – Was late and cold by this point
  • Pace 58 for first lap – for me, to run 1.56 I need a 56/57 lap
  • The BMC was behind schedule – this was a first for me, BMC’s are never behind schedule. I didn’t actually run until 21.30. 35 MINUTES LATE!! I was pretty cold by this point, and that took its toll on the last 200m.

Nothing seems to be coming together in the races, and after each race I consider my place as an athlete and whether to call an end to the season or my whole lifestyle as an athlete. I have a month until my next 800m, so I think I will continue until the end of August with some hope that I can at least get close to my PB with my training form.

3 races to go!


The race itself…. I stuck on the shoulder of the pacemaker and went alongside him at the bell as I knew the pace would be too slow for me. Then kicked slightly to 200m, hoping I’d have some speed left for the last 200m.

I was strong, however I just couldn’t get my cold legs in to the next zone, or the next gear to go that little bit faster. And then athletes just started coming past.

There is work required to look at my last 200m, why can’t I kick like I could 5 years ago?

Time: 1:59.49.

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